Dear My Wedding,
Although we have decided on a date for our wedding this year, we are yet to start on the next phase of searching for the venue, the service providers etc. My fiancée initially wanted a church wedding, but now she wants a beach wedding so the struggle is real. I on the other hand have always wanted to get married in a cathedral. While we were dating however, we both fell in love with places on water so it’s crazy but I like the beach idea. This is what is now making it hard to decide what weighs more. We know the beach is nothing compared to church, yet it means something to us. The second problem is that the place we want to have our wedding at is Nyange Resort, which is far if we conduct the wedding ceremony in church. We are totally stuck. Any advice on what we can do?
Moses
My Weddding Advisor
Dear Moses,
I must say having been to Nyange Resort myself for a work retreat, I can see why you would pick a place like that. Its serenity, beautiful view and spacious grounds would attract a couple like you who love beaches and places by the water.
In considering a place where to have your wedding ceremony, you need to think about a number of things including the following.
Practicality: A number of couples are going for this trend of having the ceremony and reception at the same place, usually a beach or gardens. One must however think of what is needed to make this happen including getting a license from Uganda Registration Services Bureau to gazette it as a place to hold a wedding for that day, as well as getting a priest, reverend, pastor or sheikh to officiate. You also need to think about how invited guests will make their way to the place, especially those who might have other commitments and will be able to make it for wedding ceremony but not the reception, and how they will make it back home since it is not close to the main road or Kampala.
Involvement of other people: Your wedding will be a huge step and a new phase of your life. As such, you should be able to decide what will make it memorable and have meaning for you. That said, the input of important people in your lives, such as your parents or guardians cannot be overlooked. Their thoughts do not have to be the last word on the matter, but because they have raised you and this day is just as important to them, consider their feelings.
Sentimentality is not enough: There are many things we do in life because they feel right for the moment, because there is an urge to, or because we just want to do them. Sometimes you feel like you have to buy that pair of shoes, or leave your job, or get a tattoo. Sometimes these strong feelings lead us to doing things we will always be proud of, but sometimes they will be things we regret or wish we could have done differently. Deciding to go for something only because we “want it” or because “it feels right” is not good enough. One should look at other factors such as your values and guiding principles. For example, do you want the ceremony by the lake side as a symbol of what brought the two of you together or do you just like the serenity of calm waters? Is this something you would do again five years from now because that is how important it is to you, or would you change your mind and get married at a game park because you discovered then, that you both love animals? In other words are your reasons only sentimental or do they carry more weight?
At the end of the day Moses, having a wedding in a cathedral will be just as beautiful as doing it by the lakeside. What matters most is having each other to do it with. Still, there is no harm in either places. What you need to do is look at all the issues surrounding both and make a decision with your fiancée.
Have a beautiful wedding!
