By Evelyn C Kharono Lufafa
My husband is a pastor who has very strong family values. Although we have been married for close to 20 years, he still buys me flowers every Monday and takes me out to dinner every Friday. I have heard rumours of women that have tried to tempt him into relationships but have failed. Many ladies ask me what I “cooked” for him. Because of its undertones of witchcraft, I consider this question rude and disrespectful. How should I answer without offending them?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Congratulations on keeping your marriage flame burning even after 20 years. Good marriages do not happen by accident. It takes hard work and being intentional about doing things that attracted you to each other in the first place. Such things should not end in the honeymoon phase, but should continue even after many years of being together.
It seems that your husband has over the years taken time to learn your love language which has made your marriage successful and admirable. At times, marriage is like a business; when we stop doing things that maintain customer satisfaction, then the business starts to decline.
At its core, love is a decision to be committed to another person. It is far more than a fleeting emotion as portrayed on television, the big screen, and romance novels. Feelings come and go, but a true decision to be committed lasts forever, and that is what defines healthy marriages.
Marriage is a decision to be committed through the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. When things are going well, commitment is easy. But true love is displayed by remaining committed even through the trials of life.
This happens to marriage as well, especially if after some time, a couple stops doing the things that once made them love one another. This in the end leads to boredom and an I do not care attitude when it comes to makin g their partner happy. Since marriage needs effort from both partners, some people find this tasking.
Only by choice, do you decide to tell other women the secret that keeps your marriage blossoming, although it is not a must. However, using your position of leadership in the church, you can decide to teach the women some of the secrets to a lasting relationship. However, mentoring is different from revealing too much information about what makes your marriage good. Click to read more…
