By Syovata Ndambuki
On September 22, 2012, Aston Muchela, a corporate lawyer, was all set to walk down the aisle with the love of his life, Winnie. Their wedding coincided with his 30th birthday, a fact that was both exciting and nerve-wracking for him. Aston was not the only one enduring a cocktail of emotions. His bride, Winnie, was happy to be marrying her friend yet a tinge of worry refused to go away when she thought of some horror stories she had heard about marriage.
“Being an advocate, I had come across many stories of women being battered by their husbands. Another nightmare was the issue of cheating. I was so afraid of getting hurt and having my trust betrayed. Looking at the stories I had come across made me worry about the marriage succeeding.”
Although Aston and Winnie had a lot of support and counsel from friends and family, most of their fears simply refused to fade away.
“I was advised to consider signing up for pre-marital counselling. Winnie agreed to this and settled for the programme offered at our church.”
With great enthusiasm, Winnie and Aston began their counselling sessions hoping to have their fears allayed once and for all. A few sessions in, they realised their expectations barely scratched the surface.
Husband’s role
“We covered major topics such as family finances, handling third parties, roles and expectation in marriage, sexual intimacy and honeymoon, parenting and children and health issues. I particularly found the topic on biblical foundations of marriages to be quite enlightening. We were given a spiritual angle of marriage. I discovered that marriage was beyond my decision to marry; there is a higher power that instituted and governs the unit,” says Aston.
For Winnie, the sessions were a game changer that has seen her triumph over marital challenges for the past 10 years.
“My biggest take-away was on how to treat each other regardless of our professional or financial status. I learnt the importance of recognising the husband as the head of the home. I must admit it was quite humbling since we are both lawyers…” Click to read more…
