My attempts to get a job have been fruitless until I recently got a call, and just like that I was employed as head of security, something out of my professional and educational background.
I have been out of a job since the pandemic when I was laid off. Somehow, my wife has been taking care of the family. My attempts to get a job have been fruitless until I recently got a call, and just like that I was employed as head of security, something out of my professional and educational background. Three weeks into the job, this man approaches me and tells me things including the birthmark on her left upper thigh. He went on to tell me that I am employed because of Jane, my wife. What does this even mean and what should I do?
Stanley
Dear Stanley,
It is only natural to feel worried, if not slightly panicked, if your partner is friends with their ex. But it is important to keep in mind that many people stay in touch after a breakup in a respectable and perfectly platonic way.
Relationships can be filled with joy and sometimes with difficulty such as what you are going through. It is a joyful thing to be married to the one you love. However, some partners, despite being married are still tied to their former relationships.
There are many reasons people give for staying in touch with their exes. Most say the relationship with their ex is harmless and their partners should not lose sleep over it. It is possible that your wife has the same sentiments.
In a non-confrontational way, let your wife know how you feel. Remember the information you have is from another person and not her and this complicates the situation. Get firsthand information from her, allowing her to explain her relationship with this man, and tell her what you feel about this and the change you wish to see.
Human beings have emotions and so this can provoke a behaviour amounting to jealousy. This can cause a lot of psychological pain, leading to mistrust, suspicion and loss of confidence, among others.
It is essential to take good care of your own emotions at such a time when you are vulnerable.
I am sure you did not lose your academic papers, so you can also opt to look for another job, especially if you want to get away from this man’s negativity. Pay less attention to this man and instead, talk to your wife and together, find a way forward.
Depending on how your wife handles this, you will be able to make an informed decision. While it is obviously fine for your wife to have one-on-one time with friends, including friends who are exes, if they refuse to include you, it may be time to ask questions. Why didn’t she tell you about her conversations with the ex?
You have a right to speak up if you feel uncomfortable, left out, or worried that something might happen behind your back. In many cases, exclusive hangouts really do lead to more, and you should not have to live with that kind of stress. Click to read more…
